D3 body, D1 cock
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
