I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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