She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
