I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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