My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
