he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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