I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
