maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
