I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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