remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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