In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
