If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
True strength comes from lack of pants
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
