wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
