Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
