names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
