You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize