We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.