Texts From Last Night

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  (713): View more from Texas

  we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.

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  (713): we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company. http://tfl.nu/8nsz
  Replies (7) Good night (1222) Bad night (568)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself

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  (907): I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself http://tfl.nu/s5eu
  Replies (11) Good night (3078) Bad night (604)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.

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  (604): a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point? (604): unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going. http://tfl.nu/jiid
  Replies (15) Good night (882) Bad night (2126)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?

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  (573): how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain? http://tfl.nu/ptj1
  Replies (7) Good night (3313) Bad night (668)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds

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  (973): And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds http://tfl.nu/07d1
  Replies (7) Good night (955) Bad night (4427)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.

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  (573): I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it. http://tfl.nu/ikx5
  Replies (10) Good night (984) Bad night (3919)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here

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  (614): Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here http://tfl.nu/czu0
  Replies (13) Good night (3250) Bad night (1061)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.

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  (201): Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them. http://tfl.nu/ciek
  Replies (20) Good night (3171) Bad night (1001)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse

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  (+61): Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse http://tfl.nu/nf0w
  Replies (3) Good night (1322) Bad night (667)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?

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  (804): I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again? http://tfl.nu/ryyt
  Replies (2) Good night (1157) Bad night (565)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.

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  (902): You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me. http://tfl.nu/23cm
  Replies (3) Good night (1077) Bad night (430)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.

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  (281): Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy. http://tfl.nu/smj8
  Replies (2) Good night (407) Bad night (685)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.

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  (612): It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab. http://tfl.nu/z2cq
  Replies (0) Good night (290) Bad night (604)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.

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  (717): There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option. http://tfl.nu/cutr
  Replies (10) Good night (1132) Bad night (375)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day

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  (847): We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day http://tfl.nu/szgm
  Replies (4) Good night (497) Bad night (272)

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