whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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