ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
A Guy Sent A Woman What May Be The Craziest Breakup Text Ever
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
28 Completely Safe For Work Pictures Of Genitals
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator