yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.