You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.