Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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