I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
we're so committed to being not committed
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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