Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
