My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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