To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Randomize
