Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
