I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Randomize
