My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize