I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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