My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
