It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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