I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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