Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
