His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
