Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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