3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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