All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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