i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
