laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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