what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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