this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
