Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
