Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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