So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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