I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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