Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize