I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
