we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
