Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
