We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
