I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
