Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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