Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize