The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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