do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
