I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
The air taste purple.
Randomize