I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
