just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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