What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
