Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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