Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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